#luckily it wasn't much for either lmao

[hopefulqueer]

dyou ever just go to a physical comic shop and spend 20 minutes rifling through old comics to find One Issue from over 30 years ago just for a couple of pages of a character who is only in that issue?

[famwhy]

Bereavement

noun

/bɪˈriːv.mənt/ The state one is in when losing someone important to them

Spiderman: Across the Spiderverse

42! Miles X F!Reader, 1610! Miles X F!Reader

Synopsis: Miles is missing, and all you can think about is getting him back. Upon finally finding him, however, you're taken aback by the copy that stands beside him—the same copy that was staring at you with wide, shaking eyes full of... disbelief?

Note: this one's for my cousin. The idea actually came to me while I was rewatching the first spiderverse lmao. Who knew Kingpin was such a source of ideas?

part two.

You saw it—on the control panel—42. Miles had been transported to Earth 42.

You belonged to 1610; which meant that Miles also belonged to 1610.

He was in the wrong universe.

Your best friend was stranded in the wrong universe.

Now, if you were a rational person, you would've called for back-up—maybe even gotten Hobie's help like Gwen had. But you weren't a rational person—and could anyone blame you?—your best friend was probably in danger, of course you would act without thinking.

The watch wasn't hard to swipe, everyone was too caught up in what had just happened with Miles to care for guarding their little 'goober' dimension devices. Tracking him down wasn't terribly difficult either, not after you knew which world he went to.

All you really needed to think about was where exactly you had to open the portal—but luckily for you, Margo was willing to help.

"You owe me for this, by the way." Her head tilted your way, lids narrowed in a sassy look you dismissed with a wave of your hand.

"Yeah, okay, what're his coordinates?"

With a roll of her eyes—that you very much thought was quite rude—she gave you just what you needed; his exact coordinates.

The assortment of colours and geometric shapes appeared before you with a few taps of your finger against the cold device, flitting across the room in a bright blur of pure chaos that hurt your eyes to look at—

—but you would endure it; if only for Miles' sake.

"This is stupid, by the way—" you turned, facing the girl who insisted on making a snide comment every five seconds, "—you're not even a spiderperson."

"Says the girl who's speaking to me through a VR headset and isn't actually here right now," you growled.

"Careful, I can shut this whole thing down right now and tell Miguel what you're planning," she returned your apprehension with crossed arms, brows furrowing even further.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," you sighed, "it's just— I'm worried about him. Please don't tell Miguel. Miles has saved me so many times, it's time I save him for once."

You assumed you must've looked rather pitiful for her features to have softened up, arms falling limp by her side as she, too, gave a sigh; though hers sounded like it stemmed from a different type of exasperation to yours.

"Just... go. Before I change my mind—preferably."

You gave her the brightest smile you could muster, hoping to god she could see all the appreciation in it—and there was a lot—before turning back around to take a step into the portal.

"Miles! I'm here to—"

As soon as you walked through, you were met with a dark room—though, that wasn't what caught your attention. Instead, your wide eyes landed on that familiar hanging bag, beat down and bits of its material flaked off.

Chained up to it, was your very own, Miles Morales. And stood directly opposite to him was... also Miles Morales?

Alright, you were aware of this whole 'spiderverse' thing but you didn't think it would be this trippy.

"...save you?"

They were both staring directly at you, however, the expressions situated on their faces were vastly different.

Miles—your Miles—had his eyes blown wide, shaky pupils not leaving your form for a second, even as he started frantically shaking his head from left to right, he still remained in eye-contact with you.

The other Miles also had his eyes blown wide. This time, however, it wasn't in warning—no—his pupils were dilated and his form stood rigid; still as a statue.

"Cariño..." he whispered; so much breath in his voice, it barely sounded like words were coming out.

"Y/N! You have to get out of here!" Your Miles yelled, pulling at his chains as though it would get him any closer to you.

You scoffed. "And leave you? I don't think so."

"Don't worry about me! You have to—"

"Cariño."

You blinked, casting your gaze back over to the other Miles—who now stood much closer to you than before. He was just an arm's length away, in fact, how did you not notice him approach you?

"Mi vida, oh Y/N..." his voice was soft as he spoke—quiet and coated in an emotion you were unfamiliar with—hand moving up to your cheek to gently trace a cold, steel claw over it.

"Hey!" The sound of metal chains clicking grew more frantic from behind him. "Stay away from her! Don't you dare hurt her!"

Either the Miles in front of you was ignoring your friend on purpose, or he genuinely didn't hear him, because he continued to do as he was doing—continued to give you shivers from the icy material against your cheek.

Then, all too suddenly, he flew into your torso, engulfing you in a hug so tight—so inextricably emotional—you stumbled back a little from the sheer intensity of it all.

"You're alive..." he breathed out—and it was then that you finally understood what the tone of his voice was. "You're really, truly alive. Oh mi cariño, I've missed you so much."

"Wha—?"

"Lo siento... lo siento." He buried his face into the crook of your neck and the surface of your skin slowly grew wet, your collar soaking up. "I didn't get there in time, I couldn't save you."

You and your Miles shared a glance.

You saw your reflection in his eyes; the look of shock on his face; the scenes that flashed through his pupils. You saw a fear in him, one unlike anything you had ever seen before.

You saw your near-death experience replay right before him.

"Te quiero—" the other Miles—the one holding you—grounded you once more with his words as he pulled away just enough to look you in the eyes and continue, "—you know that, right? I'm so sorry for not saying it before. If you hadn't— if you never— I'm so sorry."

The phrase shocked you, sending an electric pulse down your spine and rendering you utterly immobile.

"I always have. For the longest time. It's always been you. It's always—only—ever been you."

If what he was saying was true... then—?

"Y/N!"

Suddenly, the metal against your hips was replaced by the familiar silky material you were used to; the one worn by your Miles.

"Miles," you breathed out, looking all around you to see the shattered glass that flew in the wind—scattering in all different directions as the warmth of the inside abandoned you.

"I'm gonna need you to hold on, okay?"

You nodded.

Then, you glanced behind him, catching sight of the familiar geometric mask of the Prowler—sharp claws out—coming in hot and fast and furious.

"Miles—!"

"I know, mami, I know. I need you to trust me for a minute, alright? You know I'll never let you get hurt."

You nodded once more, nails digging into his dark suit as you buried your face directly into his chest. You felt yourself flow through the air, swiftly moving as the wind worked against you, pushing back on your hair as though you were its worst enemy.

It was nice. It was fun. It was... bound to go wrong.

One moment, you were safe, all coddled up in Miles' arms as he swung through the sky—the next?—

—you were falling.

"Y/N!"

(Note: I feel like I need to address this because some people seem to be misunderstanding what I'm doing with Margo.

First of all, Margo is not AT ALL being mean in Bereavement. The whole of that fic is written in the Reader's perspective (and I'll prolly end up writing something in both Miles' perspective too) - this makes her an unreliable narrator so you can't trust the way the story is being told to you is 100% accurate to the true events.

At the start, the Reader is frustrated because she knows her best friend is stranded on another universe - this makes her unfairly take out her frustration on Margo when she thinks lines like 'who always seemed to have to say something every five seconds' (paraphrased).

Margo thus responds accordingly (as she should) and although she threatens to tell Miguel, she never actually would because she is legit one of the only real ones in the movie. So no, to those commenters that were accusing me of making her 'aggressive' cuz she was black - that is not what I'm doing at all. I am writing the Reader's perspective after just having lost her best friend.

Margo is the only one helping. She is literally being kind to the Reader. If anything, the Reader is the one being rude to her but again, that's because her best friend is missing which isn't an excuse but definitely an explanation.)

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Just Take It | Jeon Jungkook | Part One

Summary: Some of your closest friends betray you and somehow push you into the arms of someone unsuspected. Pairing: Inexperienced f!reader x Best Friend's Dad Jungkook (20 year age gap) Word Count: 5.7k Warnings: Mentions of cheating resulting in pregnancy and explicit language...I think that's it lol (Barely edited per usual lmao) a/n: You guys seemed really excited for this fic so I'm gonna make it a miniseries since even the poll results were so close so anyways I hope you enjoy! Requested by the lovely @kkusadmirer 💜

"Is everything ready?" I ask my best friend Jina for the hundredth time today. "Yes y/n calm down. This party is going to be perfect don't worry" she says with a smile that doesn't reach her eyes, making me even more apprehensive but decide it's best to just take her for her word instead of digging deeper. 

"You're right, I should probably just go back upstairs and get ready huh?" I say and start heading upstairs to take the curlers out of my hair and finish up my makeup in her old bedroom. "Let me know if you need help, I'll just be putting the finishing touches on everything in the meantime" she calls after me and I respond with a quick 'okay' before running up the rest of the steps I had been ascending.

I walk down the hallway lost in thought and am stopped in my tracks when I find myself bumping into someone, almost falling over but he luckily catches me before I even have a chance to stumble back more than a few steps. 

"Careful there" he teases and I look up and apologize immediately. "I'm sorry Mr. Jeon I wasn't watching where I was going" I say quickly and he smiles at my flustered state. "It's okay darling don't worry about it" he says in a deep tone that has always gotten to me. I take a quick step back to create some much needed distance and to cover up the awkwardness that had settled in. 

"Thank you again for letting us hold our engagement party in your home. Are you sure you still don't mind?" I ask him as well for the hundredth time as if we had time to change things with mine and my fiancé's relatives already on the way. 

"Y/n if I minded I would've said no a long time ago. Don't worry, I'd do anything for you, since you and Jared have been such amazing friends to my daughter. It truly means more to me than you know" he says placing his hand on my bicep to aide in showing his sincerity. 

"Of course Mr. Jeon. Moving to a new state in the middle of your Sophomore year of  college has gotta be difficult for anyone so I'm just happy we could be there for her" I say smiling up at him. He stares at me for a second, studying my features before breaking out of the slight trace he had caught himself in to continue the conversation. 

"I'm sorry you're probably wanting to finish getting ready and I'm holding you up" he says taking his hand off of me and stepping aside so I can walk down the hallway to my intended destination. 

"Don't worry about it. We've got plenty of time as it is so I'm in no rush. Thanks again Mr Jeon" I say, quickly wrapping up the conversation and walk into Jina's room. Before I'm able to close the door though he makes it a point to remind me of something I've always forgotten.

"Haven't we agreed upon calling me Jungkook? Mr. Jeon makes me feel so old" he teases and we both laugh at his words. "Thank you, Jungkook" I say and he smiles, satisfied with the change. "You're welcome" he replies with an heir of sensuality that leaves my brain buzzing and I close the door before either of us has the chance to say another word. 

He's always made me nervous but why does today feel different? It's not like his playful nature is anything new. He's acted like this since the first day I met him and when I had brought it up to Jina she just said he was being friendly so I never really gave it a second thought. 

There's no denying he's a handsome man and from what I can tell him and his ex wife had Jina when they were quite young so he's not anywhere near old enough to make it seem a bit strange but I tend to just deal with the butterflies by ignoring them as much as I can. 

He makes sure to be respectful when Jared's around and he hasn't crossed any lines to my knowledge so I don't mind it. It makes me feel confident more than anything and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. 

I shake off those thoughts and finish getting ready before I start to panic about being late and end up finishing up a lot sooner than I had planned and as I'm putting on my heels I hear a faint knock at the door. 

"Come in" I call out and my fiancé pops his head in from behind the door. "Aw I thought I would catch you while you were changing" he says with a fake pout leaving me smiling and shaking my head at him. "You'll get to do that plenty of times once we're married you pervert" I tease and he scoffs playfully. 

"You know, now that I think about it I kind of am a pervert aren't I?" he says while stalking towards me, making my breath hitch and my adrenaline start pumping but I have to tell myself to calm down before I do anything stupid. "After the wedding I warn and he backs off like he always does.

I smile and get up from the bed I had been sitting on and give him a quick kiss but he holds onto the back of my neck, keeping me there for a little while longer and deepening the kiss. "You look gorgeous" he whispers against my lips and I smile before giving him a quick peck and pulling back to look at him.

"You don't look half bad yourself" I taunt and he scoffs before granting me a sarcastic 'thank you'. "I'm kidding baby you look handsome as always" I say and he smiles at that and places a quick kiss on my cheek before taking my hand and leading me downstairs to where we're met with a few of our family and friends having already arrived. 

"You should've told me they were here sooner" I whisper to him while I wave at them as we walk downstairs. "I didn't want to rush you" he replies, giving my hand a gentle squeeze leaving my heart fluttering at how thoughtful he had been.

"Thank you love" I say looking at him as if he's the only one I need. "For what?" he chuckles, studying my features almost as if he's committing them to memory. "For wanting to marry me" I say and he laughs at my cute sentiment. "Thank you for saying yes" he replies and at that we start mingling together throughout the crowd and thanking everyone for coming. 

~~~~~

We part ways after a few more groups of people come in and around the time we're going to bring out the champagne I start to look around to see if I can find him so we can both be ready to make a toast once everyone's gotten a glass.

As I look around and ask a few people where he might be they point toward the far end of the house where not many people had wandered to and so I curiously make my way over to the room I had assumed he would be in but before I'm even able to put my hand on the door I hear the voices of not only Jared but Jina as well. 

"We have to tell her" I hear her say and stop short, my heartbeat immediately raising as I hold my breath, waiting for the response. "You told me you were on the pill though. How did this happen?" and at that my heart breaks. "I don't know I guess I forgot to take a couple of them and-" "And so what? You decided that screwing me without protection would work out just fine? Fuck Jina" Jared cuts her off and I hold my hand over my mouth to stop the sobs that I know are sure to come. 

"You were the one that said you wanted to stop using them" she defends. "Oh and so now it's my fault. Jina we both agreed to that and you know it" he says and at that the room falls silent for a moment before he speaks up again.

"What are we gonna do?" he mumbles, leaving the choice in her hands. "We need to tell her because I'm not getting rid of this baby. I don't care if you're going to be in our kid's life or not but either way we're telling her" she says, standing firm on what she thinks is right. 'She should've thought about that before she started fucking my boyfriend' I think to myself and wait for the conversation to continue.

"She deserves to know" she says in a hushed tone and they both agree moments later that they'll tell me after the party to avoid both of our families catching wind of it and at that I walk away as quietly as I can, heading to the bathroom across the house to collect myself before I even try to face anyone. 

'How the fuck could they do this to me? How could they do this to us? Did everything the three of us did together really not matter? All of this love that I gave Jared and he gave me made me feel like we were gonna last forever but I guess my wants and needs weren't enough for him. He wanted what he wanted and found that in my best fucking friend. 

I chuckle dryly at that thought and how ironic it sounds at the moment. The wants to avoid the drama of the rest of the family knowing? Well they don't have that kind of luxury anymore. 

I collect myself a few moments later and make my way out of the bathroom to intermingle again until I happen upon my soon to be ex fiancé in the crowd. 

"Hey honey" I say and I can see him trying to hold back the guilt at my words and I hold back from ripping his head off for the sake of what I'm about to do. "Should we go ahead and bring out the champagne and make a toast?" I ask and he nods his head agreeing wordlessly. 

"Great I'll ask Jina to help us out" I say and I can see how stiff his whole body becomes after I mention her name and he laughs it off and walks closer to me and I hold out my hand for him and guide us both over to where we've placed everything for the toasts. 

~~~~

"Does everyone have a glass?" I call out and everyone says yes and Jina makes her way around, filling everyone's glasses but her own. "Okay great Jina go ahead and grab a glass and then if you guys don't mind we'd like to pose a toast!" I say and everyone places their full attention on both Jared and I who are standing side by side. 

I watch as Jina tentatively fills her glass half full knowing full well that she won't be drinking any of that but I singled her out as a way to make her even more uncomfortable. Serves her right honestly but it's only just begun. 

"Okay everyone, firsts things first I would just like to thank all of you for coming. It is just so wonderful we could all gather here together and the fact that you all made the effort to come and celebrate Jared and I is just something that I won't ever forget so thank you again from the bottom of my heart" I say and hear murmurs of 'You're welcome's and 'Thank you for inviting us' throughout the crowd and I continue on after those die down.

"Another person I would like to thank would be my best friend who I couldn't have any of this without her including being able to host this party in her's and her father's wonderful home so thank you both for that" I continue and I look for Jungkook in the crowd and see him raising his glass to me and I turn my attention to Jina moments later and see the forced smile on her face and I smile back at her and take a deep breath before continuing. 

"You know Jina has been such a great friend to both Jared and I and the countless memories we've made together are something that I'll always hold close to my heart. One memory in particular is one that I think we'll all remember for the rest of our lives is one that I would like to share with you all" I say and I watch as Jared and Jina make nervous glances at each other but I hear the room fill with words mentioning how cute our friendship is and how it's nice to have close friends that get along. Oh boy they're about to know just how well we all get along. 

"This one actually just happened not too long ago, in fact it was just today wasn't it guys?" I say making eye contact with the both of them and I can see as both of them realize that they've been caught. 

"Yeah it's funny I was looking for Jared not too long ago to try to find where he had scurried off to and low and behold I found him and Jina having a cute little chat together just over there" I say and motion to the secluded part of the house where they had been and I see the crowd go from happy to confused. 

"They had been talking about how they had a surprise and they needed to tell me after the party but I figured that I would just give them an opportunity to say it now so all of us can hear it together. Would you guys like to share it with everyone?" I ask the two of them and wait a few moments before Jared tries to shut me down. 

"I think that's probably a conversation we should have in private right Jina?" Jared says, pleading with her to back him up. "Oh are you guys too shy? Don't worry I can say it" I counter, brushing him off. "Y/n I don't really think that's necessary" Jina now tries to reason with me but I'm way too far gone by now.

"Why not? Doesn't everyone deserve to know that you're pregnant" I say, pausing for the rest of the family to smile at the surprise and some of them start to congratulate her but before they can get too far I continue on. 

"Yeah she's pregnant with Jared's baby! Isn't that so sweet?" I say and at that point the room goes so silent you would hear a pin drop and I break it by continuing to rub salt into the wound. 

"I know right? It's so crazy isn't it? It was a surprise to me too. Congratulations to the both of you" I say and down my drink while they stand there speechless as does the rest of the crowd. 

"So yeah anyways thank you all so much for coming and get home safe!" I say and make an exit into the backyard while Jared and Jina chase after me. 

"Y/n, y/n wait. Please" Jina calls after me first, following as I make my way over to the clearing behind the house and away from prying eyes. "Why should I wait huh? It's not like you waited and thought 'Hey maybe it's not the best idea to be raw doggin my best friend's boy friend' or were you guys still fucking by the time you asked me to marry you?" I ask the two of them and they both just stand there in silence. 

"You know what, you guys are perfect for each other. The whore I thought was my best friend and the whore who chased after her because neither of you could keep it in your pants. Thanks a lot, have a nice life" I say and storm off into the small clearing behind Jungkook's house, praying they won't follow me. 

"Oh and another thing" I say before walking too far, "I'm keeping the ring to compensate for emotional damage you bastard" I spit at my ex and his jaw drops, never having heard words like that come out of my mouth ever let alone directed at him. 

"Baby wait I can explain" he says trying a pathetic excuse of trying to get me to get him to hear him out. "Pretty sure I heard everything I needed to hear when you were having your little rendezvous earlier" I say, fully admitting to listening in on their conversation. 

"If I never see either of you again it'll be too soon" I say and continue on into the clearing, walking just far enough to be out of their view. "We really fucked up didn't we?" I hear Jina say and soon hear Jared scoff in return. "We fucked up? No you fucked up! You should've been more responsible" he throws back at her and storms off. "What the fuck Jared don't you dare walk away from me" she yells and chases after him, following him back into the house. 

After taking a few deep breaths and convincing myself over and over again that this is for the best and I'm better off without them I slowly make my way back into the yard and sit on the bench that's furthest away from everything, hoping no one finds me out here. Luckily it does the trick and I'm able to avoid facing anyone from the party and soon hear all of their cars leaving and the place falls silent. 

"They're all gone now if you want to come inside" Jungkook says, walking over to me tentatively, making sure he doesn't do something to make me run off. I look up at him with a tear streaked face and try to smile but ultimately end up hanging my head, hiding what little emotions I've let myself show and he walks over and sits on the far side of the bench I'm on. He doesn't say anything, he just sits with me and lets me ride the wave of emotions I'm feeling but also letting me know he's there if I need him.

I let out a few shaky breath after having let a few more tears fall before collecting myself and drying my eyes. "I'm sorry" I whisper and he turns towards me with a confused look on his face. "Whatever for?" he questions, puzzled as to why I could possibly be apologizing. 

"For the show I put on back there. I was just so mad when I overheard them talking and I don't know, I felt like I wanted to humiliate them since they decided to fuck behind my back like how fucked up can you be to sleep with your best friend's boyfriend?" I spout off and then look over and remember who I'm talking to. 

"I- I didn't mean. I'm sorry Mr. Jeon" I apologize again and hang my head in shame. I'm met with a chuckle as a response and when I look up at him I can see that he's clearly very amused. "What's so funny?" I question and he continues to laugh. 

"I'm sorry darling, just seeing how horrified you looked when you remembered that you were talking shit about Jina to her father was kind of hilarious and honestly adorable" he chuckles and I let out a breath and smile at him, happy he wasn't offended by it. 

"I wasn't thinking straight, I'm sorry" I apologize again, feeling so so guilty for bringing all of this drama to his house. "Hey, you have nothing to apologize for" he says softly, placing his hand on top on mine. The one that happens to be sitting on my thigh and I gulp at the sight of his big hand enveloping the sight of my hand and now has his fingers resting high up on the inside of my thigh. 

"It's not your fault that they're both fucked up and you got caught in the crossfire okay? So please don't apologize about that again" he says and I nod my head mindlessly, my eyes still focused on the hand that is now squeezing my thigh in reassurance but I can't get past the feeling of having his hands on me like this. 

He stands up a second later, taking his hand off of me and I look up at him, almost as if questioning why he stopped and he simply smiles at my cute reaction. "Let's head inside alright? It's gonna start getting cold out here soon" he says and I nod my head, wordlessly following him back into his home. 

"Did you want a drink?" he asks and I jump at the opportunity. "Yeah I'll just take this" I say while grabbing one of the barely opened champagne bottles. "Did you want a glass?" he chuckles, watching as I take a big gulp out of the bottle. "No need, this is fine. Might as well not let it go to waste right?" I say and he hums in acknowledgement while poring himself a drink. 

I walk around his living room and take in everything about it, reminiscing about all the memories and shared laughter there had been here over the last couple of years and find my mind wandering a bit. "I'm really gonna miss this place" I say, meaning to keep it to myself but accidentally voicing it loud enough for Jungkook to hear as well. 

"You're welcome to come back here anytime you'd like" he replies, startling me when I realize he's gotten closer and is now sitting on the couch directly behind where I stand, facing the mantle and looking at the various pictures placed on it. Pictures of Jina, Jared and I over the years, ones that no doubt Jungkook had taken. 

"I always hated this picture" I say mindlessly and I hear him get up off the couch so he can see which one I'm referring to. "Oh the one where I took all of you to the beach house a few years ago for your birthday? Why? Didn't you have fun?" Jungkook questions, genuinely surprised with my reaction to it. 

"No it's not that, I had a great time. I just feel like I look like a wet dog in that picture" I admit and I'm granted with a little chuckle beside me. "Hey" I whine and glance over at him, my breath hitching when I realize just how close he's gotten. 

"You know what? Now that I think about it I don't really like that picture either" he says and I turn my body to fully face him, highly offended and demanding he explain himself. "I didn't like the way that Jared was touching you that day. He couldn't keep his hands off you and I know that it was making you uncomfortable" he says, lowering his voice an octave and causing a shiver to run through my body. 

"How did you-" "When a man really pays attention and cares for you he can tell from the slightest change how their woman is feeling. I guess he just never got the memo" he says, glaring at Jared in the picture and how he unashamedly has his hand placed directly on my ass while I'm wearing a swimsuit that I had already felt uncomfortable in in the first place. 

My mind goes into overdrive with what those words could've possibly meant. 'Was he paying that close of attention to me that he noticed something small like that? Has he been jealous of Jared? Does he care for me?' are just some of the questions that start swirling around in my brain and before I can register what had happened next he's gone and sat on the couch and is suggesting I come sit down as well. 

"You've had a long day don't you think?" he asks and I nod my head and sit on the other side of the couch making sure to keep proper distance between us. "Yeah I guess you could say that" I chuckle dryly and take a drink from the champagne bottle I still have in my hand but end up spilling it on myself. 

"Shit" I say and Jungkook quickly grabs a napkin to help clean up having spilled some on the couch as well. "I'm sorry" I apologize, constantly finding more and more reasons to apologize and he shuts me down again. "A little champagne never hurt anybody don't worry about it" he says, brushing it off and leaving me feeling a little less guilty. 

"Why don't I grab you a glass and give you some of my clothes to wear so if we have another little mishap it won't be as big of a deal" he offers and before I can refuse he's already given me a glass and is halfway up the stairs. Gosh my brain really must be working in slow motion already. 

~~~~~

After Jungkook gives me a big t shirt and sweats I change into them and tie the drawstring tight to aide in keeping the pants up and look in the mirror of the bathroom I had been changing in and realize how much of a mess I look like right now with smudges of mascara under my eyes and my nose all red from all of the crying I had been doing earlier. 

I quickly wash and dry my face and throw my hair up and out of the way since at this point theres no saving this look and just accept defeat, walking out in my now more casual look and find him sporting an almost identical one. 

"Feel better?" he asks and I nod my head and walk towards where he's standing. "Come here" he says holding out his arm and pulling me into a hug. I melt in his embrace and almost start tearing up a bit again, but push back a little and softly break apart from his embrace before the two of us sit down. 

"I don't know how to feel honestly. I feel angry and sad and betrayed and relieved and heart broken and I don't know. I'm just confused" I start and he nods his head, encouraging me to continue and so I do. 

"We've been together since before Jina and I had ever met and things had always been so good between us and then when Jina came along it felt like things had gotten even better if that's makes sense. We had our three amigos group going and whenever we were together it felt like the rest of the world didn't matter. Or I guess at least that's how I felt" I say and take a shaky breath in and out before preparing to say the next part. 

"When Jared and I got together, I told him right off the bat that I wanted to save myself for marriage and he respected that. I will admit that we both had gotten close to breaking that boundary I set  once or twice but he always backed off when I asked him to and I was thankful for that. Guys my age or guys in general don't really respect that sort of outlook anymore so the fact that he was more or less willing to date me after knowing that gave me hope for us" I say, letting everything off my chest.   

I down my glass and pour myself another one before continuing on and I take into account that he's watching my every move. "I figured 'If he had a problem with it and got tired of it then he would've dumped me' or 'He's had really good self control all of these years so that must mean there's something special between us'. So when he asked me to marry him I said yes without thinking twice. I had my knight in shining armor, the one who waited for me and I couldn't be happier" I scoff, taking another gulp of champagne. 

"Looks like he waited to have me but got someone else to fulfill his needs on the side" I mumble and down the rest of my glass before pouring another and I can see the concern in Jungkook's eyes growing but I pay no mind to it. 

"You know after all that I just can't help but wonder 'Was it all worth it? Was saving myself and in the end losing the man I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with worth it?' At this point my virginity is becoming more of a hassle than anything and honestly I don't want it anymore" I say, finally voicing how I had been feeling about keeping myself pure for a while. 

"I feel like it would be best if I just got it over with and went on with my life you know?" I say, finally looking at Jungkook and I can see how dilated his pupils are and how ragged his breath has gotten, doing a horrible job at concealing it.

"Can I ask you something Mr. Jeon?" I question, leaning towards him, a new gained confidence flowing through me from all the alcohol that I had consumed in such a short time. Downing glass after glass throughout our whole evening. "Jungkook" he rasps and I feel a fluttery feeling building in my stomach. 

"I'm sorry, I always seem to forget. Jungkook, can I ask you something?" I repeat placing my hand on his thigh, feeling the muscle tense up at the contact but he nods nevertheless and waits for me to continue. "How old were you when you lost your virginity?" I question, wondering what his experience might've been like. 

"Um, when I was about eighteen I guess. It was right before I graduated high school" he answers truthfully and I nod my head, mulling over what I plan to say next.

"It seems like a man of your age has had his fair share of sex am I right?" I ask and see him gulp at my assumption. "I guess you could say that" he responds and leans back a bit when I get closer. "Mr. Jeon do you have a girlfriend right now? Someone you might be seeing?" I ask, making sure that in my tipsy state I won't make the same mistake my hopeless excuse of a best friend and ex made. 

"No, I uh I'm not seeing anyone" he says quickly and I nod my head and wait a moment to get my words together. "Do you think you would mind taking my virginity?" I ask and at that his jaw drops, not expecting to be asked something like that straight away but in this state I guess you could say I'm full of surprises. 

"I- What?" he asks, confused and concerned as to if I actually meant what I said and not only that but clarifying to make sure he's heard me right. "I'm asking you if you would take my virginity. You said you'd do anything for me remember?" reminding him of his words from earlier in the day. 

"Y/n I think you might've had a little bit too much to drink" he says scooting back from me to create some distance but I close that distance moments later. "No I'm fine, I haven't even had that much silly" I say, slowly starting to slur my words but still conscious enough to make them coherent. 

"Look I think that's something you should keep until you have a chance to give it to someone special. Someone who you care about and cares about you too" he says, trying to softly reject me but it falls of deff ears.

"I care about you though. Don't you care about me?" I pout and he shakes his head and tries hard to hide a smile but fails. "Of course I care about you darling but I think you're too confused and too drunk to be making this sort of decision" he say holding my shoulders at arms length to keep me from getting any closer to him.

"It's okay Mr. Jeon I know what I'm doing. Oh! I mean Jungkook" I say cutely, leaning in a bit more and his arms give in, letting me get a bit closer so as to not harm either one of us. "Don't worry I won't tell Jina" I say and he clears this throat at the sound of his daughter's name. 

"Y/n I really don't think this is a good idea" he says, watching almost helplessly as I place my hand on his shoulder and use it to anchor myself as I climb onto his lap and although his words have said otherwise, his hands are the ones that guide me by my hips to sit on his lap, giving me a boost of confidence in my decision.

"Can you do this for me?" I ask and his eyes ping pong between mine, seeing how blown out my pupils are and notices how hot my skin has become. He stays silent and just takes in all of my features and waits for my next move. I lean in closer to him and run my fingers through the hair on the nape of his neck. 

"Just take it" I say against his lips and without a seconds hesitation he grabs the back of my head and smashes his lips against mine. 

It's a mess of lips and tongue and teeth, accompanied by the sound of him groaning and pulling me closer and me moaning at the feeling of being desired by someone like him. Someone strong and confident and undeniably sexy. Someone who wants me just as much as I want him but before I can fully grasp what's about to happen I feel myself slipping away and lose control of my body. 

"Y/n?" Jungkook questions feeling my body slump against him after I had broken the kiss and rested my head on his shoulder. He smiles at the realization that I had fallen asleep in the midst of it all and wordlessly stands up, carrying me off into the guest bedroom and laying me down to sleep there for the night.

"Goodnight darling" he says, placing a kiss on my forehead before walking out of the room and slowly closing the door behind him.

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[killerlookz]

Bloody Kisses | Joost Klein

Description: joost klein x f! reader-(reupload) after joining the moshpit at his own show Joost winds up with a bloody nose, which reader is tasked with cleaning up. (not a blood kink fic, this is a very common moshing injury, no need to clutch your pearls)

Content: 18+ (mdni), suggestive content (no smut), prestablished relationship, making out, hickies, some "over the pants" touching, nosebleeds/blood- THIS FIC CONTAINS RPF AND HAS BEEN TAGGED AS SUCH, IF THAT MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE, DO NOT INTERACT. this has also only been tagged under joost fanfic tags so like if you’re here it means you searched for it! (like seriously, its really not that hard lmao just keep scrolling and stop looking for shit to be mad at), I ask you KINDLY, DO NOT SHARE MY WORK EITHER AS SCREEN SHOTS OR IN ITS ENTIRETY ON OTHER SOCIAL MEDIAS, keep tumblr stuff on tumblr and i swear everyone will be so much happier <3

Joost couldn't help himself, not as the crowd of hundreds of festival goers buzzed with excitement. Not as a larger chunk of the crowd than he expected screams every word he sings back to him. He had to get in on the action, live entirely in the moment.

Joost was no stranger to joining the crowd at his shows, often times asking the crowd to clear a space around him so on his count he could start a mosh pit around him. And tonight was no different, except the crowd had been rowdier than usual, not that he really minded, having long gotten over any fear of being hurt in the pit. The fear had so long left his mind that, he had forgotten he could get hurt. An elbow to the face was a swift reminder of that fact, an intense force colliding skin with skin.

Joost was quick to hurry out of the pit once he noticed the bitter liquid that dripped down his mouth. While an injury, much less a simple nosebleed, wasn't going to slow him down, bleeding on your fans, Joost felt, wasn't a particularly smart course of action.

Luckily for him he was finishing off his final song- making him able to get out of the crowd, thank everyone for a good show, and get off the stage before the metallic taste on his tongue became too much to bear.

"What happened?" You furrow your eyebrows, watching Joost step off the stage, a dark crimson running down his face, dripping off his chin.

"Fucking hit in the face," He says, in more of a disbelief than any actual upset of having gotten hurt. He places his fingers against his upper lip, swiping upward towards his nose. The blood smears on his face and coats his fingers as he attempts to wipe it away. He looks down at the liquid that covers his hands, eyes widening.

"Is it bad?" His gaze flicks back towards you. You nod reluctantly, it's pretty bad. Gushing, even.

"C'mon," You pout, grabbing his non-blood stained hand, "I'll clean you up."

Luckily for Joost his trailer wasn't far from the stage, allowing for the two of you to move quickly so you could get him cleaned up.

"Go stand by the sink in the bathroom and tilt your head back." You motion to Joost as you enter the trailer, leaving him alone for a moment to sift through your things, knowing you had a small pack of tissues somewhere, heading back to the small trailer bathroom after retrieving it.

Joost leans against the sink with his head tilted backward, the position putting his face's bone structure on full display. The way his neck stretches upward perfectly highlights the angles of his jawline, his cheekbones hollowed out as he clenches his jaw, attempting to keep any blood out of his mouth. The rest of his body glistens with sweat, his hair perfectly messy, and his chest still rapidly rising and falling in an attempt to catch his breath from all the excitement of the show,

For a moment you forget what you're meant to be doing, all too caught up in the way he looks.

"Some help?" Joost asks, clocking how long you had been standing motionless.

"Oh-yeah, sure." You smile, walking a few steps closer to the sink. You place the tissue package on the rim of the sink, taking a couple out. "Keep your head back," You say, placing one hand on Joost's hip, and using the others to pinch his nose with the tissues to try and stop the bleeding. "Does that hurt?"

He doesn't really need to answer, not with the way he groans under your touch. The sharp noise sends shivers down your spine.

"I'm alright," He sighs, his eyes screwing shut.

"Doesn't sound like it." You can't help but giggle at his feigned assurance.

"Just a nosebleed." With his hands snake around your waist, attempting to pull you closer to him.

You don't budge as you unclamp your fingers from around his nose, the tissues already soaked in his blood. You toss the dirtied tissues in the garbage, not far from where you're standing before grabbing a couple more. You pinch his nose once more, forcing him to suck in a sharp inhale, his chest rising as he winces.

"Sorry," You mumble, but as you force his head back a little farther, you can't help but to be slightly enticed by how almost pathetic he seems now. His small gasps and groans take your mind to a place far from the current moment.

Joost's fingers dig into your lower back as you pinch a little higher on his nose, hoping for the pressure to stop the bleeding soon. His strong grip finally forces you closer to him, your chest nearly pressed to his. You try not to lose sight at the task at hand, fighting the urge to press just a little bit harder to earn another gasp out of him.

Slowly, you remove the tissues from his nose, realizing they don't seem to be getting any bloodier.

"I think the bleeding stopped," You remove your hand from his waist, instead placing it on his jaw to pull his head from its tipped back position. His face is still obviously bloodied, lips and chin smeared with streaks of red. You pat the area around his nose with a clean part of the tissue, attempting to dry it up, throwing the tissue away once it had become too bloodied.

With your hand still on his jaw, you place your thumb to his lips, swiping away the blood that remained. He looked a little cleaner now, some blood still dried around his nose, and his lips stained red.

Not exactly thinking you remove your hand from his face, sticking your thumb in your mouth to clean off the blood. Your eyes widen a little as the metallic taste hits your tongue. Joost is caught off guard, rightfully shocked that you just licked his blood off of your hand. You hadn't even meant to, the action was almost involuntary. But things suddenly feel much more intimate as you stared up at him through your lashes, your thumb hanging half-way out of your mouth, forcing your lips into a pout. You linger for a moment before Joost raises an eyebrow,

"What was that?"

"Nothing," You let your hand fall from your face, and attempt to play off the action "A little blood isn't going to kill me."

He smiles, revealing his teeth, lightly stained with blood. A chuckle falls from his lips,

"Guess you're my little vampire now,"

"I suppose I wouldn't mind sinking my teeth into your neck," You laugh, shrugging innocently.

"Oh," Joost's eyes widen, "By all means then." He tilts his head to the side, putting his neck on full display for you. You eye up the Lola Bunny tattoo that sits at the side of his neck, and admire the way his muscles strain as he stretches his neck.

You slide one hand up Joost's torso, letting your touch linger on the length of his body before finally resting your palm on his shoulder. You push yourself up on your toes a little, and let your body fall closer to Joost's, your chests fully pressed together.

You tilt your head, leaning forward so your lips press against his neck, slowly beginning to kiss at his flesh. As your lips connect with his neck a small gasp leaves his mouth, sounding much sweeter now that it was out of pleasure instead of purely pain.

You kiss up his neck before slipping your tongue from your mouth, searching for where his pulse pounds the strongest. You trail your tongue up, finding his pulse right below his jaw. You return your lips to his skin, sucking against the throbbing artery. Joost's fingers once again dig into your back, his fingernails surely leaving small crescent moon shaped imprints in your flesh. Ever-so-lightly you nip as his neck, before quickly flattening your tongue over the area to soothe the bite. The simple action resulting in a groan leaving Joost's mouth. The small sound sends vibrations down his throat, meeting your lips, eliciting a hum back from you.

Using his grip on your hips, Joost pulls you flesh against him, his belt buckle pressing into your abdomen. You smirk against his neck upon the realization that the buckle of his belt is not the only thing pressing into you. The full extent to which he had been enjoying the way you kissed at his neck on display as you push your hips forward, letting the bulge in his jeans graze your crotch. Your stomach tightens at the feeling, and you're suddenly not in as much control as you thought you had been, feeling weak in the knees at realizing how bad you need him.

You continue your pattern of biting and sucking at Joost's neck then soothing the marks with your tongue. You knew as soon as you lifted his head his neck would be littered with splotches of purple and red. Slowly, you pull your hips from his, allowing you to slot your hand between your bodies, pressing into where he strains against his jeans. The pressure you apply against Joost has him groaning above you, his hips following your hands, chasing the friction. Your kisses become quicker, no longer lingering on his skin with each movement, instead you peck up his neck, to his jaw before slowly pulling away.

Joost smirks down at you, your body set ablaze as your eyes meet his. His gaze quickly becomes to much to bare, and you avert your eyes, instead trailing your vision down his torso.

"Oh, no," You force a pout, realizing the white tank top he wears had been stained with blood, not only that but you realize how poor of a job you had honestly done cleaning him up, blood dried on his chin and down his neck. "Your shirt." You lift your hand from where it presses against his crotch, letting your fingers crawl up to the hem of his tank top.

"What?" He asks, quickly turning his head down to look.

"It's all bloody," You sigh, purposefully poorly acting out being disappointed, "I guess you have to take it off." You shrug.

Joost hums, shaking his head, trying to desperately to hide the smirk that was threatening his lips, "I guess so."

"I've got it," You respond confidently when you notice his hands beginning to slip from your waist. "Arms up," You smile.

Joost obliges, raising his arms as you play with the hem of his shirt with one hand before grabbing it on both sides, lifting it over his head, careful to not hit into where his nose is injured. You quickly toss the shirt on the floor, eager to get your hands on him.

You place both of your palms flat against his chest, his skin is soft, sticky, still covered in a fine layer of sweat. You push into him, sliding your hands upward until they rest on his shoulders. Joost slips a hand to the back of your head, the other returning to your waist. With the vantage point of having a hand behind your head, Joost is able to guide your lips to his, him bending down slightly so he can engage you in a passionate kiss.

You moan lightly at the taste of the blood that lingers on his lips, unable to entirely understand just what about your boyfriend having been bloodied was getting you so worked up. You apply more pressure onto his lips with your own, your mouth parting slightly so you can slip your tongue into his. Joost eagerly accepts, allowing you to deepen the kiss.

You slide your hands back down the length of Joost's body, your fingers once again finding themselves at his waist. You swipe a finger across the waistband of his underwear, which stick out from the jeans that hang low on his hips. Slowly, you let that singular finger slip into the waistband, dragging it back and forth, teasingly.

After letting your fingers tease the waist band of Joost's boxers for too long apparently, Joost finally speaks up, briefly parting from the kiss.

"You wanna move those hands a little lower?"

You mumble into his lips as he returns to you, "Mhm," Your fingers fall from the tight elastic to his belt. You're a bit uncoordinated due, trembling fingers making awkward movements against the thick buckle. Eventually you get it, the cool metal unhooking with a jangly sound as you let the belt open.

"Joost!" A sudden voice somewhere else in the trailer calls, causing your blood to run cold as both of your heads perk up, forcing you out of the kiss, "Are you here buddy? Everyone's been looking everywhere for you, you kind of just ran off."

"Ja-Ja," Joost stutters, trying his best to call out, "Just getting cleaned up!"

[lowkeyrobin]

Hello! I was wondering if you could please do newt (platonic/familial) with a younger sibling who makes/mends close and personality wise is similar to Luz from TOH? Thank you! :D

yesyesyesyesyesywsyes omg please keep the maze runner requests coming I'm very very fixated atm kdk how to function, PLEASE SPAM ME W TMR REQS RJNENE ; anyways thank you for requesting, hope you enjoy!! ; post writing robin here, I tried with the personality like Luz but I struggled for some reason so I'm so sorry about that LMAO

NEWT ; clothing maker/mender

summary ; you make and mend clothing around the Glade, and Newt is somehow always there to help

warnings ; language, Newt is still a runner so pre-injury era

genre ; platonic fluff

word count ; 1.1k

masterlist

The day you came up in the box, you were frightened and felt like you didn't fit in with the other kids of the Glade. You were socially awkward and didn't know how to talk to people, although being a people pleaser.

Talking was just hard for you, but luckily, Newt understood. He tucked you under his wing and tried to help you fit in with the others, but to no avail. Nothing was sticking out to you, it wasn't like jobs were supposed to be enjoyable but you truly couldn't fit in anywhere. The fifteen year old boy with dirty blonde hair was there for you, though, reassuring you that actually becoming a Glader, even after remembering your name, took time.

Becoming a Runner was off the table at day one, you had zero stamina and could barely run for shit, let alone your life, you and Newt, and Alby, Minho, and the other Runners quickly agreed upon that. Being a Builder was quickly eliminated as well, because you didn't want to deal with obnoxious assholes like Gally, Hank, and Alec all day long. Plus, you knew nothing about "structural integrity" or whatever the hell they were talking about anyways, wood to hammer to nail was all you saw.

You quickly gained a friendship with Winston after a month or two in the Glade, but no way in Hell were you joining the Slicers either. You'd gain an emotional attachment to the animals much too quickly to then watch them die, the emotional despair would be a bit much at the moment. Bagger was also off the charts, leaving Med-Jack and Track-Hoe on the table for you.

Newt wasn't going to let you become a Slopper, considering you weren't bad at helping people nor farming, you just had to find your thing that you'd be comfortable doing. So, you settled on Track-Hoe as they needed more help in the gardens and you wouldn't mind getting your hands dirty, with dirt, that is. No blood.

You found, or maybe relearned, your nick for sewing one morning as you needed to repair your shirt, and ran straight to Newt with your new talent. After seeing it himself, Newt quickly bounced to Alby's side to ask if you could make mending and making clothes your job. You hadn't had any luck finding a job out of the many in the Glade, clearly, so this might've been your luck turning.

The next coming days were slow. Thankfully, Alby approved your idea of a new job, considering you and Newt wouldn't stop pestering him about it, and it'd be a great convenience to have you around for something as necessary as clothing. The builders graciously built you a little hut next to the Homestead to give you your own little place to go and work, instead of working around the Glade and potentially dirty-ing the clothes you fixed and made.

The hut consisted of a table, a loom, a hanging rack for finished projects, and a little chest system organized by all the threads, needles, etcetera. Alas, Newt was the one to help you with your new job on days when he wasn't running out in the maze. Minho switched him out with Ben or George on those days as per his request, as to help you learn how to talk to and understand the Gladers, whom you didn't understand too well yet.

But, by the time the next Greenie, Henry, arrived, you were right on track. You modeled and measured and patched and sewed your days away, finding peace in the seemingly boring activity. And by this time, Newt had become your brother figure and your best friend, considering how much he understood and supported you and helped you get some great opportunities around the Glade. And now, you were the Keeper of the Seamers, the only worker, but still the Keeper.

After a long day of running in the maze with Minho, Newt jogs to your expansion of the Homestead, desiring your help.

"Hey, Shank" He warmly smiles, closing the door made of sticks behind him. "How's your day been?"

You shrug in response. "Slow. Need me to fix anything for you?"

He awkwardly smiles and nods, looking down at his knees. His cargo pants are ripped, and the skin beneath painted a light red in comparison to his pale complexion, rug burns covering his kneecaps.

"Tripped and fell out in the maze" He explains, "Just don't want them falling apart because it kinda trailed 'round to the back" He says, tracing the little rips around his knees.

You nod. "I mean, the best solution would be keeping them like that or turning them into shorts for hot days. But I know the maze is cold and stuff, so, your call. I don't wanna ruin your running pants but I can always scrounge up new ones, and the next Greenie will be up in two days so it wouldn't be that long of a wait-"

"I'll just keep them ripped" He lightly smiles, cutting your rant off.

He knew damn well to not let you spiral over something so little, so he developed the radar to sniff out when you were about to rant about small things for an hour out of panic. He pats your shoulder before sitting down next to you, looking over at the rack of finished clothing you'd patched up and finished making.

"Oh, were you able to finish that shirt you were making for yourself?" He asks, running a hand through his hair.

Lord, he needed a haircut, although the best method of that was knives, which made it all choppy and blunt. Hopefully, WCKD would send up some cutting shears or something soon. All of your hair needed a cut desperately.

You nod, setting your needle and thread down to go grab it. You pull it off the rack and hold it to your chest. A simple, thin, off white, long sleeved shirt rests against your torso as you cheesily smile at him.

"Looks good"

"Thanks" You put the shirt back on the rack, deciding to put it back in the Homestead near your hammock later.

Newt was usually very supportive and went out of his way to show appreciation and reassurance for you, though making it casual to actually feel real for you. Once he found out that he needed to speak with you like that after reassuring that you'd live without rain, he learned the lesson.

Before you can speak again, Ben runs in, looking for your help.

"Y/n, I ripped up the sleeve of my shirt, can you fix it?" He asks, holding the grey-blue shirt up for you to see

"Yeah, sure, leave it on that table" You reply, pointing at the table in front of you.

"Thanks, you're the best!" He says, setting the shirt on the table before leaving.

Newt looks up at you and smiles, "You're getting used to talking to people, I see"

You nod, catching his infectious smile.

"Welcome to the Glade, Y/n/n"

[gojostan-doodles]

hi! i love your sdv oc amari so much she and sebastian are so 🥺🥺🥺 do you have any headcanons for how they got together?

HELLOOO!! AND THANK YOU SO MUCH UUUAAH 😭💕

♡ I feel like it started with interest from Seb, finding Amari pretty odd. Their initial meeting was somewhat normal, but after she got her powers Amari became more jumpy and fidgety. She didn't stay in social settings for too long either. Sebastian had a feeling that she was hiding something (and he was correct LMAO) but he was too caught up in his own problems to think about it too much.

♡ They both started to bond through their shared interest in the mines. One day Amari happened to be leaving as Seb was entering, and they were both like, "I didn't know you came in here 🤨". She was in there for resources but Seb was in there to blow off some steam. They probably ended up talking about the monsters for a while.

♡ That day was the first time she made him laugh. She probably said something silly about a slime that she saw and he burst into laughter. But he got kinda embarrassed and left shortly after. 🥹 It's actually a recurring thing for her to make him laugh. It's never intentional either. Even when she's being serious, sometimes she just does or says something really absurd. But they started talking more after that!

♡ I think Amari started to be like "oh! 😳" when Sebastian remembered a detail she spoke about. She has a habit of going off on tangents or rambling about a bunch of flower facts. She wasn't expecting him to be listening, let alone remember long enough to bring it up again.

♡ And of course she takes an interest in Seb's hobbies too. Asking questions about his programming work, and watching him tune up his motorcycle. She doesn't understand it at all but she tries 🥹

♡ She's really into anime, so it was pretty easy for Amari to get interested in Solarion Chronicles and Seb's comics! He'd let her borrow his books, and then she'd excitedly enter his room the next day to talk about them.

♡ Amari is kind and understanding, so she's always willing to listen whenever Seb needs to rant. She validates his feelings, and knows when to give him some space when he needs it. She just wants to be there for her friends, y'know? Sometimes she'd give him a frozen tear or obsidian to try and cheer him up.

♡ Sebastian knows that Amari goes into the mines often, so after a while he started buying sports drinks and snacks for her to take with her. But he always made the excuse that he "happened to have extra."

Yeah right

♡ At that point they were both crushing on each other, but they weren't sure if it was mutual. Sebastian thinks that she's pretty but he never wanted to flat out stare at her. So sometimes he'd just glance, but because he's so anxious he just ends up looking like:

AND I THINK THAT'S SO FUNNY! Cause then in her head Amari would be like, "Did I do something?? ಠ⁠﹏⁠ಠ"

♡ But luckily Amari's friend Reina (from the homie @stinkiesdraws (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)) was able to help reassure Amari that he does like her, while Sam and Abby probably had to talk to Seb and be like, "please smile bro... 🗿"

♡ Eventually Amari did end up giving him the bouquet! Although since she's a florist, she most likely made it herself! 💐

[mechanicalpiper]

Another snippet :3

I feel like this one's got some issues but I really can't pin down What those issues are, maybe it's just my perfectionism speaking but please do let me know if this one's just Ass lmao

A Reporter sneaks far into Villain's lair to get some major evidence for the press but gets caught in the act :3

cw: suggestive and kidnapping, once again

Snippet #3

Reporter felt tense.

Taking another shot with their camera, they flinched at the bright flash illuminating the pitch-black room and the distinctive click almost echoing through it- they had to be quiet, damn it, but there was no point sneaking all the way in here just to not gather evidence. They were deep into the Villain's lair, no way to just back out now- it was all or nothing: either they made it out with all the data they needed for the Agency to mitigate the Villain's entire plan, or... well, they figured it was best to not think about the alternative.

Silently walking to get another angle of the large machine that laid before them, they steadied another shot.

Deep breaths. You're halfway there.

Another click. They inspected the shot briefly, silently debating between leaving now or getting more info. There was just too much perfect material here to pass up, but-

Reporter almost jumped out of their skin hearing the distant noise of footsteps.

Someone's coming.

Dropping their camera, it luckily hanging from their neck strap instead of clattering to the floor, Reporter scrambled to the opposite end of the room as far as they could to look for somewhere to hide. Anywhere.

Their eyes darted around everywhere, but any kind of furniture that would even remotely block sight of them was against the wall.

The footsteps drew closer. Breathe. BREATHE.

Moving back, they desperately scanned the walls for something like a gap between the many drawers of files, any spot to hide, but there wasn't even the smallest little nook and cranny to hide anywhere.

In a full-blown panic, they kept looking around the room, knowing full well there was nowhere for them to go. Their breathing sped up more and more as they ran around in an irrational attempt to find absolutely anything, but all it resulted in was them being dead center in the room when the door slammed open.

Their hyperventilating was replaced with a held breath as they looked at the doorway, freezing in place with fear.

"Awww... Now what do we have here~?"

Villain slowly stepped inside the room, gaze fixed directly on the helpless Reporter caught like a deer in headlights. All they managed to do was back up just as slowly as Villain advanced, eyes filled with such adorable terror Villain couldn't get enough of. Reporter began to stutter something out, but was cut off in an instant by Villain.

"A little mouse making a commotion in MY lair? You know it's rude to tamper with stuff that doesn't belong to you, don't you~?"

Reporter's back hit the wall- Villain had never seen anything cuter than the way they pressed against it, making themself look even more small and powerless than they had before. They continued to walk forward until they were just in front of the Reporter, towering over the terrified snoop.

The Reporter's mind was short circuiting. They felt absolutely helpless looking back up at the Villain- they knew nothing they could do could save them here. Their fate was completely up to the Villain and they were powerless to do anything about it.

...So why did everything feel so... warm?

The Villain took a moment to just enjoy the sight before reaching a hand down to firmly yet harmlessly grab the Reporter's cheek.

The Villain said nothing, watching the Reporter lightly squirm under them- underneath their intimidating appearance, though, their heart was melting at the pretty little thing that found themself in such a predicament. They didn't want to actually hurt them... but, of course, they couldn't just let the snoop go.

"You know, that's some sensitive information you've now got in your pretty little head..." The Villain paused to see the Reporter squirm in place just a little more, too nervous to keep still but not wanting to move. Adorable~

They leaned in, face inches away from the Reporter's. "I suppose I'll just have to make sure it doesn't leave this lair."

-------------------------------

Villain tightened the last knot, stepping back to look over their handiwork. The lights had been turned on by now, so the Reporter was visible in all their glory. Bound to a chair, arms wrapped like a boxtie behind it and legs firmly held together under it, the two connected with a length of rope that ensured they stayed sat down, and the whole look capped off with a cute little white cloth wrapped over the Reporter's mouth for a gag. They weren't being particularly loud or anything, Villain just thought it'd look pretty.

Reporter had calmed down more by now, since at least they knew they weren't gonna be killed. The feeling of the bindings holding them firmly in place wasn't as uncomfortable as they expected- in fact, it felt... nice?

"So." Reporter flinched at the firm voice, turning their attention back to the Villain in an instant.

Villain leaned over them again- Reporter figured the rising heat in their cheeks was just the gag holding in body heat- and snatched the camera still hanging from Reporter's neck strap, said strap completely snapping in half. Reporter struggled a little at the careless breaking of their equipment as Villain looked over the camera itself briefly before checking out the saved photos.

"You got quite a lot, hmm?" Villain grumbled, Reporter feeling mildly embarrassed watching them freely poke around with their equipment.

Villain looked through a few out of curiosity before opening the settings and wiping the data, dropping the camera back on Reporter's lap as it deleted the evidence right in front of them, getting more precious little frustrated struggles out of them.

"I'm impressed you were even able to make it this far." Villain mused as Reporter looked down angrily yet helplessly at the camera in their lap, deleting everything they came here for. It was frustrating to watch, but... something about the teasing sent a warm tingle through their spine. Something about the Villain taking so much pleasure in taunting them, the fact they couldn't do anything about it... God, why did they keep mentally circling back to focusing on how helpless they were?

...Why was something so enjoyable about the thought?

Villain reached a hand down and grabbed Reporter's chin, tilting their head up to look at them. "I suppose I'll have to come up with an apt punishment for being such an inconvenience, hmm?"

The words sent another warm rush through Reporter's body- visible in a small shudder from them.

They glared back, giving Villain some attitude now that the pure fear had subsided... but all it took was Villain narrowing their eyes for them to backtrack to a more defeated expression, getting a teasing giggle out of Villain.

"Aww, it takes so little for you to be put back in your place~" Villain teased as Reporter squirmed more, their words having far more of an effect than expected. "Don't give me sass when you can't take the slightest amount of pushback, sweetheart."

Sweetheart.

The petname got Reporter squirming again, finally fully acknowledging there was absolutely something about the situation affecting them more than the fear. The Villain's delighted, cocky giggle only hammered the point home as Reporter struggled under their gaze.

They shouldn't like this. Nothing about their current situation felt like anything that should be enjoyable, but every little pull against their restraints reminding them of just how powerless they were in this scenario sent another wave of warmth through their body they couldn't ignore.

The Villain couldn't get enough of it, either. Every fruitless squirm from their adorable captive made them want to let out an 'awwwh~', every short-lived moment of defiance they shut down gave them a sense of control losing every fight against the Hero had left them wanting...

Reporter badly hoped they wouldn't be free anytime soon, and Villain was going to make VERY sure of it.

[piracytheorist]

So with that out of the way, I'll share some screenshots and my experience from the little I played from the Spy x Family game.

Note/reminder that I openly don't recommend buying the game for a computer, as the controls are clunky, and since that version is half-baked it's not worth your money, even if you plan on using a controller. Different case if you buy it for a console, though.

So the graphics are actually pretty cute, and I think they translate the feeling of the 2D characters into a 3D game environment pretty well! The music stands between an inspiration from the original anime soundtrack and typical day-in-the-life simulation game soundtrack, though mostly the latter. I wasn't impressed that much but it wasn't something that annoyed me. It's just a bit of a pity because they could definitely get some inspiration from the original soundtrack, but oh well.

Playing the game, Anya starts at Eden College, and you get a tutorial showing you how to move and interact with other characters and objects. First it instructs you to talk to Becky, then to Damian.

And as I saw that I was like "... Do I have to?" XD Luckily, he wasn't annoying that time, just distant.

Then Anya comes back home to tell her parents about her Diary project, and I had her explore the house a bit.

In the manga and anime there's this small separate space on the hall right by the entrance, and I actually just realized that, but in the game's version of the house that area doesn't exist.

From what I remember, in the game there is just a wall where the opening to this space is. Since this space is rarely used in the manga/anime and it would have taken memory space, I understand why they didn't add it. From the little I played Anya could only move around the main spaces, kitchen, dining/living area and hall, but those parts were pretty accurate.

And according to my post about the Forgers' kitchen, here it looks accurate to the anime, though with a two-door fridge instead.

I mostly took this because I found it funny how atrocious his posture was XD he's probably tired, the poor man.

One of the few minigames I tried was bowling. I like how each characters game traits actually fit their characters XD

Like, Yor is Strong™ but with the least dexterity, Anya is the luckiest but also the weakest, Loid is the most dexterous... and also the unluckiest. I'm telling you, I can find opportunities for angst like it's my job.

Anyway, that minigame was actually nice, it took me a bit to get the hang of the curveballs but I'm sure I could get better at it if I trained more. I played as Loid, too XD

I liked the characters' responses to their throws, either going like "This is hard" or "This is harder than it looks" (even Loid, lmao, with me controlling him he actually became bad at something) if they threw only a few pins. Funny thing is, when Loid was first about to throw his ball, he said something like "Child's play" but then because it was me controlling him he only threw a couple pins and was like "This is hard" 😂 Poor Yor said "Was this good?" a few times right after throwing her ball, then Anya did a strike, and Yor and I as Loid did a spare (when you throw the remaining pins on your second go). For each of those, the other characters cheered for the one doing the strike or spare, and that was cute. Funniest responses was when a throw wouldn't get a single pin, Anya did her "Shock" face, Yor looked embarrassed, and Loid cringed back with a drop of cold sweat on his face (I was the reason for that, sorry man XD) Loid ended up winning and even though he had missed a couple of throws, at the end he was once again like "Child's play" like, my MAN, stop embarrassing yourself and me.

Anyway. Back to the story. There were some cute moments of banter, I feel they captured the characters pretty accurately!

Then I could go into character customization and. Some interesting choices there.

"Just going to work". Yes. That work XD

And then this... item.

MAXIMUM CHARISMA

I'm still laughing about it XD

Then it was ooting time, and I actually really loved the loading screens!

They have a cute feel to them :)

One of the few pictures I took for Anya's album. Whatever is happening on that Spy Wars issue Anya was reading, it must be interesting!

Anya later mentioned she'd sleep with Agent Penguinman that night, and Bond did not like that XD

When I FINALLY managed to hit the required score for Yor's fruit chopping minigame, Anya looked very smug about it 😁

As I mentioned, it took me a lot of times to get the gist of when exactly to swing to cut the vegetables, and every time Yor missed a vegetable she would say something... but there were no subtitles for those lines XD judging by a few lines I've picked up from the anime, I think she was just saying things like "I missed" or an exclamation of disappointment, and one single "I'm sorry, Anya-san". I wanted to hug her!

Then it was back to school the next day.

I'm right there with ya, girl XD

Then Anya asked Yor to train her, and Yor started giving her some advice on how to throw punches... and then Loid slipped in and was like uhm wut O_o

This next part was a little weird, because Anya was supposed to be drawing (like she did in Episode 3 in the museum kids room) and Loid was going like "Oh this is Bondman and a princess, right? That part is a little graphic, though" but... she wasn't drawing? Loid was just standing in the kitchen and I approached him to talk to him and they just said lines similar to the scene I mentioned above from episode 3. It didn't seem like it fit, and only added it so they could have Anya do that expression, which, okay, fair enough XD

This was Anya's expression when she realized Loid had completely misjudged what she was drawing and her powers weren't at risk of being exposed XD

A quick Handler cameo!

That was the intro for a minigame of Twilight sneaking into an art gallery and having to swap paintings for forgeries. I just found her appearance quite cool!

... This, however, was the minigame that proved this game doesn't work well with a keyboard. Controlling the character AND the camera with keyboard buttons is very tricky, and while I could manage moving Anya around, I had a lot of trouble moving Twilight around while I was on a timer and I had to avoid the guards seeing him.

So yeah. It could have been fun but for a computer user it can be frustrating. I tried twice and failed to complete the minigame, and at that point I was tired; it was more stressful than satisfying that way, so I just quit the game, uninstalled it and had it refunded.

Anyway, as I said, it looks like a fun game, but one that can only be appreciated through a console that already includes controllers with joysticks. Computer users shouldn't have to need external controllers to enjoy a game for the computer, so I definitely don't recommend buying it for the PC, if nothing else, for the moral of it. They could have optimized it to move the camera with the mouse, which is how the grand majority of such games work, but they half-assed it and as such I don't think they deserve anyone's money, especially at the price it's at (50 euros for us to need an external controller? no thanks).

[fabrickind]

so how in the absolute fuck did Zettai Unmei Mokushiroku save your life

LMAO a couple people have been wondering this so I'll tell the story.

tl;dr: if you are having severe medication side effects, get off that med.

In fall of 2017 I came down with a nasty migraine(? probably?) that disabled me to the point of being pretty much non-functional. I had to quit my job, I could barely leave bed, was in too much pain 24/7 to sleep properly and when I did sleep it was nothing but dreams about being in pain, the works.

I went through a LOT of different medications and diagnostics (MRI, spinal tap, you name it) to try to fix this problem. It never fully went away, but Botox ended up getting me functional again.

One of the medications they put me on, Topamax, was very bad for me. I did the proper ramping up of dose, got to the correct dose, and everything was so much worse. I was having hallucinations, visual disturbances, overall a bad time.

Around this time I was also having issues with word recall. I would mean to say one thing but a totally different word would come out, or I couldn't think of a word at all. Usually this was when I was super tired, so I just chalked it up to my brain being mush due to pain and fatigue (my brain is often soup when I have a migraine, let alone one that severe for going on several months at that point) and mostly ignored it, since i had more pressing problems.

Around this time the neurologist I saw also saw my symptoms and side effects and the fact that the med wasn't helping up to that point and said "well all of that will get better with time" and wrote me a prescription for quadruple (!!) my dose (without ramping up either).

THANKFULLY, just before this happened, I was in the car, fully awake, having a relatively good day, and what comes on my iPod shuffle but our old friend Zettai Unmei Mokushiroku. I was singing along, well, trying to, but I would open my mouth and only gibberish would come out, and not even the correct gibberish. I thought "that's concerning" and tried again. More gibberish.

I had remembered that my now partner (this was just before we started dating) was briefly on Topamax for migraine prevention and had word recall issues, but that hers persisted for a long time after she stopped.

So I called up my GP and said "uhhh here's my side effects (including the aphasia issues, the neurologist knew about those) and the dose he wants me on, should I do this?" and she basically said "wtf no stop the med right away."

If I hadn't had the issues with very much the wrong sounds coming out of my mouth when singing, I probably would have believed the neurologist and suddenly started a quadruple dose of the med, which would have caused even worse side effects, and side effects that were permanent, or at least MUCH longer lasting than the maybe month or so of continued visual issues and mild word recall issues I ended up with. (Also my overall health improved and I had less of the extreme eepies I had on the med once I stopped.) Luckily I was only on it for maybe two weeks at that point?

So "ZUM saved my life" is probably an exaggeration, but "ZUM prevented continued and long-lasting neurological problems" is absolutely not. It seems like sometimes the cognitive impairments go away for people after stopping Topamax, but for people who have been on high doses and/or for a long time, it sometimes doesn't, even after years.

So thanks, Utena, for my life, literally this time.

[cl4ss1ba33]

Why I Didn't Receive My Desires When I Entered The Void The Other Day 😔

So, the other day I posted the post below. Go read it for context (if you want ofc).

So, luckily someone answered my post. THANKS @dolli-is-me !!! (I'm not promoting or anything but they post some pretty interesting stuff so I would follow them too if I were you).

Anyways so as I was analyzing I began to think, and I don't think my subconscious was the reason I didn't get my desires (cuz i've been saturating that baby<3 but either way I had a talk with my subconscious LMAO).

I remember reading this post saying if you didn't get your desires as soon as you woke up, then you didn't enter the void unless you didn't affirm ofc.

this is from @zen-shu post btw, really helpful on the void.

So i thought to myself what if I didn't entered the void and I entered some random thing that wasn't the void. and sure enough @dolli-is-me replied and told me the same thing happened to her.

So i've decided I'm going to try the door/ portal method again but THIS TIME before I enter it I will affirm "this door leads to the void" a couple of times. Then when I get through I will also affirm "I am" "I am pure consciousness" "I am in the void".

After that I will begin affirming for my desires and we'll see how it goes, I'll update y'all tmr.

[lipringlrh]

new years day - cth

summary: it's the afternoon following your new year's party, and all you and calum are doing is cleaning when you find some unextpected poleroids. loosely based on ‘new years day’ by taylor swift.

pairing: calum hood x genderneutral!reader

an: from the last week, i’ve had one thing show up in tags so i’m praying this does lmao.

word count: 850

warnings: a joint, alcohol, kissing, fluff

…

There's glitter on the floor after the party

Girls carrying their shoes down in the lobby

Candle wax and Polaroids on the hardwood floor

You and me from the night before

It was yours and Calum's turn, this year, to host the New Year's Party. It'd been passed around his friend group for what felt like forever, so when it came back to him, he wanted it to be a night to remember.

And, of course it was. The house was full of people - all of which enjoying themselves, and his backyard. The party ended around 4 after everyone had went home, leaving just you and him sat around a fire outiside, you on his lap, sharing a joint.

Whilst the party was great, the moring wasn't. You'd both woken up far later than usual, yet it felt like neither of you had slept at all. Luckily, by the end of the night you'd both eaten and drunk enough you werent too hungover in the morning - that felt like the only plus.

Calum had wanted to get about of bed as soon as he could to clean the house but you on the otherhand, opposed that idea entirely. You'd managed to keep him in bed an extra hour before he managed to trick you into getting up.

You had barely entered the living when you went wide eyed - anything you could possibly imagine was there, coving up your floor almost entirely. You suspected the kitchen wasnt great either, or the garden. Calum had gone to get a bin bag when you finally looked through everything on the floor: party poppers, confetti, a few lighters, and a lot of spilt drinks.

You deemed most of it was rubish so you spent the next hour of the afternoon throwing things away, stealing kisses from your boyfriend in between. Once you were finally finished, you begun taking everything to the front of the house to throw in the bins when you noticed a pile of poleroids on the counter.

You began flicking through them when you realised they must've been pusposefully left. You knew one of Calum's friends brought a poleroid camera, you just didnt expect him to use it this much on the two of you. There was just picture after picture of you and Calum, with him touching you in some way in all of them. There was one of you both you knew he'd taken - one of you and Cal kissing just before midnight, Calum holding you as tight as he could.

Your favourite though was a photo neither of you realised was taken. You were stood there, drink in hand, talking to a friend you couldnt quite make out, with Calum stood next of you, arm tightened around you, and his gaze soley on you. It was a look that you couldn't possibly fake; he just looked completely entranced and in love with you.

You put them in your back pocket and carried on, carrying the bin bags out front. You put them in the right bins before trodding back inside on a mission to find Calum.

You found him inide on the sofa, legs kicked up on the coffee table, and beer bottle in hand. He looked up, gesturing towards you to take a seat next to him. "Taking a break, darling, you comin'?"

You nodded, sitting next to him, him immediately placing one arm above your shoulders. You began resting your head on his shoulder and resting your feet by his in retaliation.

You reached into your back pocket again, pulling out the poleroids, "found these just now, what'd y'think?"

He took them from you, passing you the beer in replacemnt, watching you take a swig. He flicked through them, pausing on a few to admire them. He picked out one, pointing it towards you. It was a photo of you stood up by a wall, Calum stood behind you, his hands on your waist, "y'look really pretty in this one."

You hummed as a reply, leaning further into him so you could catch his movements as he flicked through the rest of the photos. He paused on one further towards the back - the same one you had before.

"Love this one, could just stare at you for hours." He carried on looking at the last few, keeping that held to the front. "Wanna put both of these on the fridge, y'just look too good, baby."

You laughed, taking them out of his hands to have a further look at them, "'kay, only if we get the one of you stood at the door on there too - you look so hot in that one. Oh, and the one of us kissing."

He pressed a kiss to the side of your head, tightening his arm around you. "Course, baby, whatever you want." He placed the photos onto the arm of the sofa, pulling you up to straddle his lap.

He pressed a firm kiss to your lips, holding you down onto him, "happy new years, baby."

But don't read the last page

But I stay when you're lost, and I'm scared, and you're turning away

I want your midnights

But I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day

feedback + constructive criticism appreciated.

[ahgasegotarmy116]

L0v3 M3

Summary: You're both each other's escape but he can't tell you who he really is... Pairing: y/n x idol Yeonjun Word Count: 4.2k~ Warnings: Like one or two curse words lmao... that's it a/n: Requested by a lovely anon <3 I hope you like it :)

🟢  y/n is online

🟢 Yejun is online

Yejun: How's your day been? I haven't heard from you today :/

y/n: I am so sorry Yejun! Things have been pretty hectic at work and I wasn't even able to eat lunch today :(

Yejun: Oh my gosh that's horrible! How are you feeling? You must be exhausted! Have you eaten yet?

y/n: *send picture of your favorite food* Yup! I figured I would treat myself today!

Yejun: You definitely deserve it after the crazy day you had!

y/n: Enough about me though, how have you been? Did you do anything fun today? I know you said it was your day off so I hope you did :)

Yejun: Not really, I hung out with one of my roommates since we both ended up having today off so we just played some video games.

y/n: Oh did you guys try out that new game you said was coming out soon?

Yejun: Yeah we did! It came out on Friday but we didn't have time to check it out until now so it was fun trying to figure it out together. 

y/n: Did you win?

Yejun: Of course

y/n: As expected from my champion <3

I smile down at my phone after rereading your message for the 10th time before responding. "What are you smiling at?" Beomgyu says walking into the living room after waking up from his nap. "Nothing" I say locking and putting away my phone before another ding rings out notifying the both of us (unfortunately) of another one of your messages coming through.

"Doesn't look like it's nothing" Beomgyu says tilting his head trying to see my phone hidden behind my back. "Well either way it isn't any of your business I say defensively. "Yeonjun be honest, you're still talking to that girl aren't you?" he says, obviously disappointed in me. 

"So what? What's wrong with that?" I say continuing to defend myself. "She doesn't know who you are right? You know it could cause a huge scandal if-" "I'm being careful. But no, she doesn't know who I am. I know better than that" I say hoping the conversation is over and we can move onto something else. "You better..." he says trailing off.

"What's that supposed to mean? Last time I checked I was the hyung here. You really think you can talk to me like that?" I spit out getting fed up with him. "Okay I'm sorry I'll stop bugging you about it damn" he mumbles. "I'm sick of your disrespect Beomgyu. When are you gonna sto-" "Yeonjun that's enough" Soobin says walking into our dorm trying to defuse the situation. 

"You know what I'm done, I'm leaving" I say walking towards the door and heading outside. Luckily some of our staff are still hanging around outside since they had just dropped Soobin off. "Can you take me for a drive? I just need to get out of my head for a while" I ask knowing that taking a walk instead isn't really possible with my current idol status.

The staff nods and opens the car door for me before going over to the drivers side. "Do you have anywhere you would like to go or just somewhere away from the city?" he suggests and I'm happy to hear that he's able to read my mind. "Away from the city please, I need to get away from all the chaos" to which he nods and starts the car doing just as I had asked. 

I pull out my phone after our drive is underway and I remember that I had left you on read.

🟡 Yejun is busy → 🟢 Yejun is online

🟡 y/n is busy

The last message you had sent me was asking if I had any plans for the rest of the night. I'll be honest I downloaded this app with the intention of pretending to be someone else. I just wanted to be a normal guy, talking to normal people and having normal conversations. But when you're an idol that privilege gets ripped away from you and you don't realize how much you're going to miss it until it's too late. So my name on here is Yejun and he's basically me except with a new face and a new name.

Choi Yejun, Yes I know very creative but I did't want to lie too much

Age: 24

Birthday: September 12th which isn't a complete lie because it's the 12th in America but the 13th in Korea

Height: 6ft, yes I did add on an inch okay, sue me!

Blood Type: A

MBTI: ENFP

Education: Batchelor's degree in Music with a minor in dance. This one however is a lie laced with some truth okay, let me have this one. 

I got the pictures of "Yejun" off of instagram after looking through hundreds of accounts, trying to find one that fit my vibe. Luckily the account that I take the pictures from belongs to a very very narcissistic guy so I'm constantly getting new picture to send you if I need to. Do I feel bad lying to you? Yes of course.

I wasn't even planning on keeping this account for long. I just wanted to try and use it as some sort of escape. We met by chance and somehow along the way we just started messaging each other everyday and it's gotten to the point that I feel like there's something missing if I haven't heard from you that day. 

Some days are busier than others and I hate it. I wish I could just spend the day with you. Not just messaging you on my phone or computer but really spend time with you, in person. Somewhere along the way I started to fall for you. Don't ask me why or how, it kind of just, happened. I noticed it when I started to compare every woman I encountered to you, and none of them could live up to what you mean to me. Call me crazy but something in me is holding out the hope that someday we can be together, or at least meet. 

We've been talking to each other for months but I'm afraid that when I finally gain the courage to call you that you'll recognize my voice and that could be the beginning of the end for us. You're not even into Kpop like that, let alone my team (it hurt my ego a little bit but I got over it) but it still scares me. My attention is soon brought back to my phone as I see that you've come back online and responded to my message.

🟡 y/n is busy → 🟢 y/n is active

🟢 Yejun is active 

 Yejun: Hey sorry I got busy there for a second but no I'm free for the rest of the night. What about you? 

y/n: I'm free as well :)

Yejun: Good

y/n: Good?

Yejun: Yeah because you can pay attention to me after neglecting me all day :(

y/n: I already told you I was busyyyyyy 

Yejun: Yeah I know I was just teasing

y/n: If it makes you feel any better I really missed you <3

My breath hitches a bit at the confession. It's nothing big but for some reason it has my heart racing nonetheless.

Yejun: Yeah you better! But I missed you more ;)

y/n: Good, what are you up to?

Yejun: Nothing really, just relaxing, trying to clear my head.

y/n: Oh, is there something wrong?

Yejun: It's just that things have gotten really busy at work and I feel like I'm being stretched way too thin.

y/n: Could you maybe talk to your boss? See if there's anyways that someone could help you out?

Yejun: There's already four other people working with me so they can't really afford to spare anyone else. Plus it would throw us all off if someone else did join this late in the game. 

y/n: Oh okay that's understandable. You guys don't want to mess up the synergy you have going on right?

I smile happy that you're starting to understand me and my world without really knowing it. 

Yejun: Exactly! I couldn't have put it better myself :)

y/n: You know you can tell me anything right? I know that you like to keep things to yourself about you work and everything but if you're struggling with say your friends or you're feeling down then I'm always here <3

Yejun: Thank you y/n I really appreciate you and our friendship so much! You have no idea how much you've helped me since we first met. Life for me is just so fast paced so it's really nice to have someone who likes me for me and not for what I can do for them you know?

y/n: I totally understand, I feel the same way about you. Even though we haven't met in person I feel like you're the best friend I've ever had. Like a true friend, so thank you Yejun. You've made my days so much brighter and my nights so peaceful. I just don't know what I would do without you.

It's really me that needs you. Everything in my life from the age of 15 to 19 has been about debuting and now that I have it's just, well I don't know, things are just not the way I thought they would be. Seeing my Sunbaes debut before me just made me so excited at the prospects of someday following in their footsteps. I kept counting the days, waiting for that time to come when they would finally tell us we were going to debut. 

I was the first member of the team that would become Tomorrow x Together and the other guys trickled in bit by bit in 2016 and soon we were put together. It still took us about three years until we debuted but we worked hard every single day until we finally made it! 

A few months after we debuted though the pandemic hit, and everything about the way that idols and idol groups promoted their music and performed had completely changed. The day they told us that BTS had to postpone their world tour was the day that I knew everything was going to change.

It was hard being a new idol group and not being able to get the love, energy and support that most groups get. It just makes all of the hard work worth it when you get to see the look on people's faces and hear them cheering for you. Although my idol journey hasn't been the same as idol groups that debuted before me I wouldn't change it for the world.

The pandemic brought our team closer, but it also pushed us apart at times. Having to live together with the uncertainty of it all was nerve wrecking. It's all thanks to our Moa though, they really kept us going when times got tough. But even after the pandemic started to calm down I just couldn't shake the feeling that something was missing, that I had lost something and I wasn't sure how to find it. That's when I found you.

I had wanted to find some way I could escape from this whole idol world and just be me. Not Tomorrow x Together Yeonjun, just me Choi Yeonjun the kid who worked so hard for his dream and made it come true. I want people to like me for me, but things started to change with the people around me when I debuted. Some idols would try to befriend me, only to get closer to BTS and the friends that I had made before when I was still a trainee started to treat me differently now that I was "famous". 

The members of BTS and especially Namjoon hyung really helped me navigate this whole scene and always gave me the best advice. I watched them grow, from their tiny debut showcase and their even smaller fan meet, to their first win with I Need U. Everyday since the beginning I've seen what they're capable of and I want us to be that kind of group someday too.

Thanks to them they've opened up a lot of doors not only for us but for the whole industry. I'm always thinking of them and how much I've grown to love an support them, I always have and I always will. Plus they're all just so hilarious, they never fail to bring a smile to my face and I could never thank them enough. 

I know I'm rambling but those are the thoughts that go through my head when I try to process my life these days. There are days I want to say "Fuck this" and just leave, but there are other days that I just couldn't imagine myself doing anything else. It's come to a point where I don't think I could go on without being a part of this team, and that's gotten really unhealthy for me. This whole mindset I've found myself trapped in for these past few weeks has been utterly exhausting and the only thing that's kept me going has been you. 

I know I have my members and Moa and the company to rely on but I just want to be seen as a person, not an idol or an asset, just me. You've really brought me back down and helped me embrace my humanity again, as dramatic as that sounds it really is true. It's easy getting wrapped up in the glitz and the glamor of it all but having you really reminded me that I'm still my own person apart from all of this. It's just, I don't know...freeing I guess? Being able to just be myself, but I hate that I can't be my true self with you. 

I've adopted this persona that I have to stick to, for both of our safety. It's not that I don't trust you, it's just that I want to keep you away from all of this and keep your view of me as the same guy you've known this whole time. Yes with a new face and some tweaked physical traits but it's still me. I hope that someday if we get to meet that you won't hold it against me. I hope you'll realize that It was safer this way because I really want to keep you in my life but only for as long as you let me. 

y/n: Are you still there?

Yejun: Yeah I'm sorry I've got my head stuck in the clouds but I really do feel the same way :)

y/n: What's got you so distracted?

Yejun: Just life I just can't seem to separate myself from work you know? My work life balance isn't the best but unfortunately with the kind of job I have it's pretty much impossible to do so. 

y/n: I swear you get more and more cryptic everyday 

Yejun: I'm sorry I'll stop talking about it. What are you up to?

y/n: Nothing really, I just put on a show that I've seen before as background noise but I really have kept my night clear to talk to you and I'm glad it worked out :)

Yejun: Me too, but hey I have a question for you. Well more of a proposition...

y/n: You're scaring me but I'm all ears

Yejun: Would you maybe be free to talk right now? I just really need to hear your voice.

I've told you time and time again that I didn't feel comfortable talking on the phone but I think I need to make an exception for this time.

y/n: Are you sure? I mean yes I would love to talk to you but I just know you've been uncomfortable with the idea of calling but yes! Call whenever :)

I ask the staff to pull over into a pretty much abandoned parking lot hoping this will provide me with enough privacy. I step out of the car and let him know that I'm going to take a call and it might take a while, to which he nods and tells me not to wander off too far. 

My thumb hovers over the call button for a few moments before I finally take a deep breath and press it to start a call. It rings a few times and I can feel the anxiety build with every ring that plays until I hear a click telling me you've picked up. 

"Yejun?" I hear your voice resounds melodically.

"Um yeah hi" I say in english. Us living in different countries has also proved to be an obstacle in our relationship but it's honestly for the best. 

"Oh my gosh is it really you? I can't believe I'm actually hearing your voice!" you say clearly excited which releases so much tension I've been holding in my body all day. 

You've sent me voice notes before and if I'm honest I listen to them about twice a day but who knew that something as simple as actually speaking to you could make me feel so at peace. 

"Me neither, I don't know why I was so scared to call you but I'm so happy we are finally doing it" I say feeling like a new layer has been added onto our relationship.

"Me too, you've been sounding really down today though. I know you've already told me about it but is there anything I can do to help?" you ask.

"No it's okay love, why don't you tell me about your day instead?" I let out and start looking up at the stars. 

"Love?" you repeat, clearly surprised.

"Shit I mean-"

"No it's okay, I like it" you respond and I can hear how shy you've gotten from the accidental term of endearment.

"Really?" I ask now feeling embarrassed but also happy that you don't mind if I call you that. 

I've gotta try out other pet names to see how they will make you react because even if I can't see you I can clearly tell you're blushing. 

"Really" you say and the line goes silent for a while, neither of us knowing what we should say next. 

"So are you gonna tell me about your day silly?" I resort to, amused by your shyness. 

"Oh right, well when I got there this morning we..." you say telling me every little thing you could think about that had happened you today, and I mean it when I say that you tell me every detail but I can't help but find it incredibly endearing. 

"Yejun?" you say catching me off guard, I'm not really used to responding to that name when it's said aloud so it took me a second. 

"Hmm?" I hum in acknowledgement having lost track of your story.

"Were you even listening to me?" you laugh, clearly knowing the answer already.

I list off a few things that I had thought I had heard but unfortunately had gotten wrong.

"Yeah you said something about spilling your tea on yourself while you were at home and had to change again before you left right?"

"It was actually coffee and I spilled it on my coworker and they had to send it out for dry cleaning but luckily he keeps a spare set of clothes at his desk"

"Oh yeah and he said that you had to give him the money to pay for the dry cleaning"

"No he was really chill about it and I offered to buy him lunch as an apology so I went to go pick something up for us on our break so it would be ready for us during lunch"

"Right right and you went to go get fried chicken and they took forever" 

"I swear your mind is something else because it sounds like you know the plot but somewhere along the way lost all the details of the story" you say laughing at me and I know know now that I got it bad. I know it might seem foolish to say that I'm in love with someone that I haven't even met but there's just something about you.

"I'm sorry love, I just really love the sound of your voice so I kind of got lost in it. I'm not ignoring you I promise I guess that I'm just getting a little tired"

"Oh so I'm boring you to sleep?" you say sternly

"No y/n that's not what I meant I-"

"I know, I just wanted to hear how you would sound when you were panicked" 

"You're mean" I pout, really feeling scared that I already messed things up between us.

"Aw you love me" you say so simply that I choke on air before my mind can even fully process what she had just said.

"You okay over there?" you laugh clearly amused at my reactions to your teasing. 

"Yep *cough cough* all good" I say trying to calm myself down, this is so embarrassing, I don't even know how to respond to subtle flirting from you. It's come so easily to me when I'm with my members and even Moas but I guess since I don't have feelings for any of them like I do with you it's just a little more nerve wracking.

"Maybe I should let you go so you can get some sleep. It's probably really late over there right?" 

"Yeah I guess you're right. I just wish that the time difference didn't make things so difficult for us" I say taking a deep breath in and letting it out to calm myself. 

"Me too, but we finally spoke on the phone so at least that's something! We should do this more often!" you say trying to cheer me up. 

"Definitely! I'll let you know next time I'm free to call and you do the same for me okay? Maybe we could squeeze each other into our schedules a bit more" I say hopeful that something like that might work. 

"Sounds good. Goodnight Yejun" you let out in a melancholy tone.

"Have a good rest of your day love" I finish before hanging up. 

After finally getting back to the city and making our way to the dorm I'm reminded of the way I left in the middle of an argument. 

"Are you going to be okay Yeonjun?" the staff asks, clearly concerned knowing that something set off the need for this impromptu trip. "Yeah I just lost my temper but I'll be fine. Thank you for tonight, I know I kept you out for a lot longer than you're used to". "It's okay kid, I knew you needed it. Let me know if you need anymore late night drives again. Oh and Yeonjun" he calls out before I'm able to close the door. "I hope she's worth it" he says with a sad smile, clearly aware of what had just happened. "She is, don't worry" I say giving him a shy smile in return. "Have a good night, get home safe" I say and close the door after we finished saying our goodbyes. 

Walking in the door I'm greeted by the sight of Beomgyu sitting in the living room with a dim light providing us with a soft golden glow. "I really don't want to hear it tonight" I say starting to make my way to my room. "Please, I just want to apologize" he lets out, clearly remorseful. I stop in my tracks and think for a second before finally caving and sitting down on the seat opposite of him and wait for him to continue. 

"I'm sorry for the way I spoke to you today, it was uncalled for and I know that" he says pausing, giving me a chance to respond. "I know you're just concerned for the team and you're right, we have a duty to each other as a team but also we have a duty to each other as people. This has been going on for months and no one else has found out besides you because you're nosy" I say smiling at him, showing him a playful attitude rather than an accusatory one.

"I'm being careful don't worry okay? I wouldn't jeopardize the team like that. As much as it hurts me to have to keep my life a secret from her, she's very understanding about it all and isn't pushing me to tell her anything. Just please let me have this Gyu, I've got it under control" I say hoping we can leave it at that. "Okay, I trust you" he says and we sit in silence for a while until he speaks up. 

"You spoke to her on the phone tonight didn't you?" he asks with a sly smile. "No...yes...how do you know?" I ask confused as to how he could read me so quickly. "Because you looked so happy when you came in here verses how you left. A miracle had to have happened to curb that temper" he says clearly happy he was right. "Goodnight Beomgyu" I say and get up to make moves to go to bed, rolling my eyes at his cheekiness before I smack him upside the head and run off with him yelling and running after me. 

"Choi Yeonjun" I hear being yelled from inside of Soobin's room clearly having been woken up by our shenanigans. "Goodnight everyone" I yell back and close the door and lock it behind me providing me safety for the rest of the night. I let out and breath and shrug off the jacket I had been wearing and throw it on my desk chair and I soon hear a quite notification pop up and confused as to who it might be I pull out my phone right away and I smile instantly reading the message over and over and over again. 

y/n: Goodnight love talk to you tomorrow <3 

Read L0v3 y0u to see what happens next <3

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[nitrozem]

Okay so I dunno what is going on here, but sometimes when playing on Miguel's lot (50x50 Palomino Junction in Galloping Gulch) the game will starts dropping FPS slowly until it freezes/crashes. (Well freeze forever, it wont actually CTD and so I don't have a crash log)

It happened once before and I was like "Huh weird" Today it happened again. I reloaded and it started happening AGAIN. Luckily I saved and made note of what was going on before quitting the game. When the game was paused the FPS was back to normal, as soon as I pressed play it started dropping again and my sims were freezing having lagging ai.

I don't know if it was an npc sims somewhere with stuck ai, something involving Rin visiting the house or something weird with my animals?

So I loaded again, I sold all my animals that were stuck at "elder" bought 3 new chickens and Pedro 2nd (Marisol got mad at her dad for selling the original Pedro lmao I'm SORRY) and deleted some decorations you can't really see much anyway. (Even though I doubt it's my lot because it's fine 99% of the time)

Game did not drop fps and freeze that time, just some stutter. I let Rin come over and when they left the stuttering stopped and it was completely normal again. So...no idea what was causing my game to crap out? This happened on dx9 too so it's not dx11. I think it's a simulation/ai glitch because when my game is paused it's fine.

I did visit Rin to make sure there wasn't wrong with them and the game was fine so I don't think it's Rin either.

Anyway I disabled visitors to the ranch for now and will observe some more, I really nothing is corrupting because I don't want to loose that ranch/save 😭 (The family is fine, they're saved in the library)

I guess I'm posting this in case someone else had a similar issue and had a fix or something.

[yourlocalrandominqms]

You introduce Melly to winnie the Pooh (your pet bear)

Melly and you met while she was observing the bees 🐝🐝🐝 pollinating flowers... 🌺🐝💨 Girl was SPOOKED 😰 when you came out of the bushes 🌵 Holding up honey 🍯 Girl definitely rose a brow at your sudden appearance (It's true, I was Melly's veil) 🤨 You notice her STARING 🤔 which made you feel... Weird cuz, uhm... You weren't supposed to look like a hobo 😃 coming out of nowhere with sticks and leaves in your hair, acting like you were bear grylls, minus the fact that you looked ✨QUESTIONABLE✨ Coming out nowhere, looking all sneaky 👻 like that...

You awkwardly asked for directions to the forest's exit, while trying not to look EMBARAZZED 😔 for thinking you were the only one in the forest... 🌲🌲🌲 Girl,,, Luckily, miss gurl was willing to LOOK past that and gave you directions just like you asked. Ah, Melly you are an angel 😇 You thanked her and handed her some interesting 🤔🤔🤔 set of insects... You revealed to her about your secret career of being a bug catcher 🦟 You refused to elaborate and left. Now, you DEFINETELY caught Melly's EYE 👁

The next time you two meet, the QUEEN was at your POOKS territory... 🐻🏡 The way you immediately DASHED over to her 🏃‍♀️💨 like you was Sonic ⚡ Warning her about entering bear territory. Needless to say... You and Melly became a reoccurring visitor in the forest after that... With you touring her around spots where you show her different types of insects, and her being MYSTERIOUS but like, also sharing a thing or two about her being an Entomologist. You two were now practically BESTIES! 🤝 except for the fact she wasn't saying stuff about herself much 🤐🤐🤐

Since you both have reached to that point, you decided to finally introduce her to your Pookie bear, an actual bear 🐻 Girlie was not convinced that the bear was tame... 💔 But you managed to prove her wrong that she ended up sharing her ability to make bees obey her as well... Making you impulsively ask if the bees can be like pixie dust 🧚‍♀️ Girl did not get the reference. And she was not impressed AT ALL 😐 But you decided to explain and she ended up following your idea, making the iconic "She was a fairy 🧚‍♀️" moment...

The day ended with bear, bees, you, and Melly walking around, as if ya'll were going to have a pokemon battle with one another due to the fact they were following you guys around... 🐾🐾🐾 She mentions about receiving letter from an unknown manor, asking you if you knew anything about the manor. You mentioned receiving a similar letter as well. But decided on not going. You learned she decided to go weeks later after not seeing her in the forest for awhile. You didn't want to go to the manor, having multitude of reasons why not to; You didn't explain or elaborate to her about the ongoing rumors and the experience of a friend who once went in the manor. An: First post! But like, I ended up writing an Half crack half serious type of post lmao but look forward to the next installment! (Either a new part or a different one because the 🧠 is not braining rn...) TOODLES! 🥰

[taeraeszn]

hi i really enjoy ur writing!! i was wondering if i can request something about being in a situationship with taerae but with a happy ending? thank you !!

the situationship - kim taerae

characters: taerae x gn!reader

description: you and taerae haven't officially declared yourself as a couple, and it's killing you on the inside. it's get even more extreme when someone else comes into the picture.

genre: fluff (tiny bit of angst!)

word count: 1.3K

warnings: hints of suggestiveness (making out/physical touch) but nothing else from what i saw.

a/n: hi luv ty for requesting!! i was actually so excited to do this request when i got it bc i literally have been in a situationship b4 (it's a lot LMAO). this plot came right away to me and i'm so excited to share this with y'all!

also, requests are currently close. but i will be releasing one more quest after this. i am not sure when i'll open them again but my schedule is very packed rn so when i'm finally able to write more, i'll open it! ty for your understanding <3

you and taerae have known each other for what feels like a decade. it all began in high school when you were approached by him, his smile with those dimples made you easily fall for him. not only that but he was incredibly nice and kind to almost everyone. (except to people who hurt you).

and after graduation, your relationship of being best friends shortly switched to become a situationship. honestly you weren't even sure how it began, but after taerae and you wanted to experience a first kiss, you kissed each other. and that's what started all of this. you weren't even sure on what to call each other. a couple? partners? taerae would never give an exact answer to it either which killed you on the inside.

it wasn't uncommon for you two to kiss and cuddle each other. clearly signalling that this was more than just a friendship. there were even times that you made out in his car and had lots of physical touch with his hands all over you.

it came to the point where you were just ready to reveal how you feel about taerae and how much you wanted to get rid of the whole situationship title and just be a couple. but then something else happened that changed everything...

"what?" you said, taerae giggled while looking off in the field that you were both sitting in.

"yeah me and them have been hanging out a lot, i like them a lot. they seem pretty nice and chill." even though he was describing them as just a friend, you couldn't help but feel a tinge of jealousy each time he spoke positively about the person.

"oh so...are you meeting up with them again?" he eagerly nodded, "yeah! today actually. they asked if i wanted to go to the movies with them."

your face dropped, "the movies? what are you going to see?" his smile got even wider.

"the barbie movie! i know we were supposed to see it but they really wanted to and were begging me all day to go see it together."

you nodded, trying to make it seem like you were fine. "that sounds great! i'm glad your having fun with them." taerae then got up to leave as you knew he had to go meet up with them.

"right! i'll let you know what i think of it. see ya!" and there he went, running off to the parking lot. as you sat alone, lots of thoughts swirling your brain. the amount of time he's reduced with you to be with them has taken a toll on you. your worries of him not caring about you as much got the best of you.

what's worse is that you actually bought tickets to see that exact movie with him. you were planning on telling him today but it seems that he was already seeing it with them. how great. in the end, you called matthew and asked if he wanted to see it with you and luckily he was thrilled to go.

(next day)

lunch was difficult to endure as taerae began talking nonstop about how much fun he had watching the movie with his friend. you were constantly thinking of how great it would've been if you saw it with him instead.

in an attempt to get him to stop mentioning his friend, you abruptly spoke up.

"well i'm watching it today with matthew!" you smirked. his face dropped as his brows furrowed.

"what? with matthew?" you nodded, "i originally wanted to go see it with you but seeing as you already went with them, i asked matt and he was cool with it!"

you noticed how taerae's facial expression changed drastically compared to his enthusiasm before. if he wanted to go with someone else, you'll do the same back.

"have fun then...do you want me to pick you up?" you shook your head, "it's fine. matthew can drive me." with only five minutes left until your next class begins, you kissed taerae gently on the cheek.

"i'll see you later!" you waved goodbye.

that afternoon, you ended up having a blast with matthew at the movie theatre. you both wore pink clothing and were enjoying every moment of the film. matthew's reaction to every scene made the experience great too.

when the movie finally wrapped up, you walked out and were having a conversation with him about the movie when you noticed taerae's car sitting in the parking lot.

"huh? is that taerae's car?" you pointed at it, matthew also noticed.

"oh..it is. but what is he doing here?" just then taerae emerged from the vehicle and made his way towards the two of you.

"hello my love and matthew. how was the film?" his arms were crossed, you could tell he was trying to look intimidating.

"it was awesome! the soundtrack was so good as well as the storyline. i honestly want to see it again!" matthew nodded in agreement.

"but what are you doing here?" matthew asked. taerae slightly chuckled, "well i was thinking of dropping (name) home."

"oh well i have my car here too!" taerae disregarded matthew's words and held your hand. "it's fine. they were going to stay at my place anyways."

matthew seemed to fall for it and waved goodbye to you, heading to the direction of his car. taerae smirked and guided you to his car, letting you sit at the front with him.

when you two got in, you already felt the tension begin to grow. the last time you were in his car, you were in the backseat making out in a parking lot.

"i thought you knew that matthew was taking me home." you blinked. taerae seemed frustrated with his hand gripping at his hair.

"i did. i just..." he stopped midway and stared directly at you, "let my feeling get the most of me." you were still puzzled.

"what do you-" just then you felt his lips touch yours and he cupped your cheek, you allowed him to do so and kissed back gently. right after he pulled away, he placed a sweet kiss on your forehead.

"i realized how you must've felt with me going to watch the movie without you. i'm so sorry for neglecting you these past days, but now i can't do this situationship anymore. i want a real relationship with you, you me as a couple."

your eyes widened and lit up. this was all you wanted to hear for the past few months! it felt so unreal in the moment that you wanted to slap yourself to see if you were dreaming.

"k-kim taerae, are you being serious?" you managed to blurt out. he nodded then pulling you into his arms.

"oh, i am. hundred percent. just say yes so i can finally be yours." he mumbled with his deep voice. your body melted into his touch and at his words.

"yes, yes, yes, yes! i'll be yours!" you exclaimed, kissing him. with his dimples now revealed, he couldn't stop smiling and blushing as he took glances at you. taerae pulled away from the hug to let you sit more comfortably.

"day one?" he put his pinky out. you giggled and intertwined your pinky with his, "day one."

"great now let's home and cuddle, i've been waiting for you all afternoon." he started the car and began driving out of the parking lot with one hand, the other holding onto yours.

you then realized what he just said, "w-what? have you been sitting here ever since i went inside with matthew?!"

"maybe, maybe not." he looked the other way, avoiding eye contact with you. you kissed his hand, "your crazy kim taerae."

"yeah crazy for you." your rolled your eyes, "just take me home so we can cuddle."

"whatever you say, my love."

[tallbluelady]

Oh. Oh man. I never thought about how hard ShB must have been for Urianger, lying to Rowan above everyone else and watching her suffer, knowing he can't say anything. And then when it all falls down... Oh man, the guilt. How did that all go down? What was ShB like for them?

It's great, because Urianger made the decision to start actively courting Rowan while she was absorbing all the Lightwarden's light. The thought process: I can offer my heart as a hideaway through all the trauma of this! This won't end badly at all! What happened after is entirely up to her, and he fully expected to be dumped right after they returned home with the Exarch's death.

Something that I'm kinda looking forward to exploring more is the fact that Urianger underestimates how much his affection for Rowan grows and evolves when they reunite on the First. Like the Exarch, he has this idealized form of Rowan to think about for three years. Then she's back in his life and she's real. And not only is she real, she's more complicated and fun and interesting than a memory could ever be. He's been in love before and he thought he knew how it would effect him. But love is different every time, and with every person. By the time they get to Mt. Gulg (I almost typed Mt. Guilt lmao), he's starting to realize that he's not going to handle life well without her.

He buries his guilt in acts of affection or trying to humor Rowan and Ryne. Urianger is going to tell jokes (Rowan gets his sense of humor) and find flowers and trinkets to put in her hair. He's going to be the attentive healer after battle, and while he can't do much to fight the Light, he's going to do everything else. Because what else can he do? The plan must work. The Exarch worked for over 100 years on it...

But the plan doesn't work. The Exarch can't take the Light into himself and fling himself into oblivion and send them home. And now Rowan is cracking under the pressure that would be too much for any one person and now it's the person he wholeheartedly loves. He picks her up and runs down that mountain, probably teleporting down at least half the distance. The next time she's conscious she's out to get Emet-Selch's head and he can't stand that she would do it alone either.

And then she forgives him. He cannot fathom it, but the release on his heart is such a relief. He's ready to go to the bottom of the ocean to face the villain with her. And if we ask Rowan... that's all she ever wanted. Rowan doesn't back down from the monsters she's asked to slay. She knows she can do it, and she knows she's one of frighteningly few who even can. On the First, she is the only one who can face the Lightwardens and live. She'd just like some support for the other things, you know? It's why she was so receptive to Urianger in the first place - he's doing things, not just raging at the injustice. She's faced injustice before and people ranting at it never did her any good. The romance did comfort and shield her. He gives her White Auracite to vanquish Emet-Selch. He's supported her the entire time they've known each other.

After they defeat Hades they have to have a long conversation about it all. How it wasn't really the fact that she had to face something that could kill her that made Rowan upset, it was the fact that Urianger and the Exarch hid details about that would all entail. He vows to be more open, and luckily that was a thread that the writers decided to continue on through Endwalker. (On top of that, the whole situation colors their sex life as well, which is fun to write about.)

So yeah! I hoped you enjoyed my essay about my Wolship!